Start
Writing. No matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned
on.
- Louis L’ Amour (American Novelist)
Shabri Prasad Singh’s debut
novel ‘Borderline’ a fictionalised record of her struggle with Borderline
Personality Disorder, probably happened because she was prompted by the experts
treating her to start writing about her complex life as a part of her therapy.
A reason, she equally believed, might work and help her from completely
destroying her life.
And so, as readers we have
this brutally honest and a bold story of Amrita Srivastava who has been to hell
and back. Written in first person the story revolves around the the roller -
coaster life - experiences of Amrita as a child and an adult.
Amrita and her older sister
Sati have had a privileged childhood. They have travelled and lived in Europe
(London) surrounded by Indian diplomats for a big part of their childhood.
Amrita is the second child of an influential IPS officer R.S Srivastava and his
beautiful wife Neelkamal– also from an elite political family (there’s some
French connection too).
Amrita was always a problem
child with an unreasonable need to seek attention from her parents unlike her
elder sister, Sati. However, the early signs of her real problems and emotional
instability starts to show when her parents’ file for a divorce. Unlike her
elder sister, she’s unable to cope with the trauma of her family breaking up and
blames both the parents (and later their respective partners) for a long time.
She’s extremely close to her
father and almost worships him. As for his part, he loves her equally and is
protective of her. He understands that while his elder daughter can fend for
herself; the younger one needs parental guidance and support. And throughout
his life he not only indulges her but also tries to keep her out of harm’s way.
After her parents’ divorce, both the sisters start living with their father and
can only meet their mother during the weekends. This vast change in their
domestic situation impacts Amrita greatly and she loses whatever little
interest she had in her studies and spends most of her time in bad company or
some “happening party.”
“Rather than focusing on
studies, my priority was to find ways to give papa the slip.”
Amrita is heartbroken when she has to leave
for the US for her higher studies upon her father’s insistence. She somehow
manages to cope with her new environment only when she meets Hafez and falls in
love with him. But soon her insecurities comes to haunt her and she starts
becoming envious and possessive of her boyfriend. The relationship ends
unhappily, leaving her even more emotionally disturbed. Things just start to go
downhill from there and one tragedy follows another, the most devastating of
them being her father’s sudden demise.
The rest of the story is about
how her “mind allows the darker demons that lurk within to possess it” and ruin
not only her own life (fuelled by excessive drinking, drugs and multiple bad
relationships) but also that of everyone around her until she finally
recognises her problem and consciously undertakes the journey to heal herself
with professional help.
What makes this book a
remarkable read is its excruciating honesty and the boldness with which the story
has been told. On a personal note, I would really like to be friends with
people like Amrita who are bold, genuine and don’t shy away from accepting
their weakness or mistakes.
However, my last thoughts are
about something that the book brings out as a side story with a devastating
consequence (if revealed). Actually, it mentions a mysterious lady writer who
takes advantage of Amrita’s vulnerable state; get her to spill out intimate
details of her life and her mental problem and then publishes the entire story
in the form of her next novel. The (dubious) woman character is referred to as ‘Ria’
in the book. No surname. Only Ria.
Borrowing from the immortal lines
of Ayn Rand’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’ -
‘Who is Ria…?’
Maybe we’ll find out soon. My best
wishes to the author.
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