BOOK REVIEW: LIFE AND DEATH OF SAMBHAJI, MEDHA DESHMUKH BHASKARAN

 

 

I’ve read Medha’s earlier book, 'Challenging Destiny,' a historical fiction based on the life of Chhatrapati Shivaji – the great warrior king and one of the greatest patriots and legendary figures of India, out of curiosity. But I ended up more than enjoying it. In fact, I was in great admiration of the writer for the simple, impactful and engaging way she presented Shivaji’s story.

 

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say, that with 'Life and Death of Sambhaji' (Shivaji’s misunderstood son and the second Chhatrapati of the Maratha Empire) she has repeated the same magic.

 

 Seen as an anti- hero by many, Sambhaji is presented as someone who had the same vision, leadership skills and heroic qualities of his father but one who slips... and makes some wrong choices which cost him dearly later in life leading to being betrayed by some of his own people.

 

The book starts off by giving us a glimpse of a young Sambha ji barely a child who has been left behind in Agra by his father as he fled from the clutches of Aurangzeb. The nine-year-old boy is surrounded by strangers and knows fully well that if he is captured he will be tortured and put to death. The thought that his Aba Sahib had left him behind to face the wrath of badshah Aurangzeb troubles his tender mind often and creates emotional instability. In fact, later it hampers his decision-making skills leading him to commit grave mistakes and causing much damage to his father's idea of swaraj.

 

However, Sambhaji is his father’s son is evident from the very beginning. The author describes a young Sambhaji as someone who is sharp, courageous, quick-witted and possessing skills of a warrior.

 

“I have heard horses; I’m not sure if they’re our men or Mughal spies. It’s best to hide, wait and watch. The docile, soft-spoken boy now sounds authoritative.” 

 

“Self-defence, he intended to harm us,” Sambha ji consoles the guilt-stricken Brahmin while gathering the jewels in his hands.

 

As a reader you’re already immersed in the story and want to know what will become of this young boy whose mother passed away when he was still a toddler. The initial chapters leave no doubt in the mind of the readers that Sambhaji is everything a father and a king like Chattrapati Shivaji would’ve wished for. And the father is proud of his son. But he’s also concerned about him. He knows Sambhaji is emotionally vulnerable and can be easily swayed by self-serving powerful folks from his own family. In his own way, he tries to caution and guide his son. The father- son relationship has been depicted with much depth.

We also get an accurate understanding of some other historical figures who played an important role in Sambhaji’s life including his astute, sensible and brave wife Yesubai, his childhood friend Kavi Kalash, the Chief Military Commander, Hammbhirao Mohite and many others. The setting whether it is Aurangzeb’s grand court, the diwan-e -khas in Agra or the Mughal camps or the impregnable Deccan forts under the Marathas etc. – the description is lucid. I don’t want to talk about the ending except perhaps reveal that it left me feeling melancholic and wanting to know when and how did Aurangzeb’s rule came to an end in India.

History could not have been presented in a more engaging manner than how Medha has presented it. I hope she doesn’t stop here but completes the story and gives us a closure on how Auranzeb’s jihad was finally brought to an end.

So you broke up? What now?

“Sangeet, I’m in love with someone else. I’ve always been in love with her, Kushal said quietly, I married you just because my parents wanted me to.”

The silence that followed was chilling.

The above lines have been excerpted from my fiction, ‘In Pursuit of a Lesser Offence,’ (Alchemy, 2014). The main female protagonist in the story is besotted by her husband and goes out of her way to be liked and accepted by him. However, the husband not only abuses her but also hides the fact that he’s been having an affair with a colleague in his office till the wife confronts him on one occasion. The book is an attempt to explore the changing phase of modern - day relationships and also studies whether the reasons given by couples, to get into a committed relationship, the right ones or are they nose - diving just because they’re in love or that’s what the society expects them to do.

Coming back to the excerpt I shared in the beginning, doesn’t it look like a scene from real life? And quite a common one at that. Probably the circumstances may vary. So what should we do when our heart breaks? Go silent? Get into depression? Stop living?

For a while, maybe yes. It is normal to grieve after a break - up. In fact, grief is a process and it goes through various stages from feeling extremely low, to blaming self, to anger and hoping and wishing that things would go back to how it was. It takes time to heal. And it takes a strong will. A determination and gumption to jump back to our original self again. It takes wisdom and compassion. To forgive and forget. To move on in life.

Here are a few things you can do:

Deal with the fact: This is the toughest part. To acknowledge that you have been dumped or have to part ways with your lover. It is important to distract yourself at this stage. Remember, your heart has got into the habit of a daily dose of love messages or coffee with the one and only. Break the habit.  Try and think of ways to keep yourself occupied. Stop stalking your ex. Also remember that it’s normal to cry or feel low. In fact, it is best to talk it out as much as possible. It helps.

Don’t give in to the temptation: of calling up your ex to clear misunderstandings or to accuse him further of how he has used you. You were in the relationship out of your own free will. No one forced you into it. It is no use blaming the other partner for the break up. It is important to shift the focus from him to yourself. Take good care of your health and surround yourself with supportive and cheerful company.

Build up your Self – Esteem: Now this is the most difficult but also the most vital thing to do after a break up. Your self – worth takes a hit and impacts all other areas of your life; be it work, interaction with your family or taking crucial decisions about your personal growth. The best way to building your self-confidence is to first wipe - off the pictures playing in your ‘mind screen’ over and over. Get rid of the negative thoughts, shun them as soon as they enter your mind. Reinforce the ‘I can and I will,’ attitude. Slowly, the old and painful pictures get blurred and new ones take their place.

Be brave and walk out: In case of an abusive relationship, despite knowing how things stand… if you still don’t want to break free, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Firstly, if someone loves you they will not think of harming or hurting you. Secondly, to think that you love someone more than your own self is a sham. You’re fooling yourself and unnecessarily giving all your power to your worthless partner. You need to do a reality check. As humans we all crave for love but that doesn’t give anyone the right to make us feel guilty and worthless for their problems in life and slowly destroy our sense of self - worth. We owe it to ourselves to put a stop to it.

Consult a Psychologist: This is the best piece of advice I can give you. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re confused or emotionally disturbed with regard to your break up or an extraordinary situation in your relationship; please do not hesitate to contact a professional. They will guide you the best.

Keep Smiling! Always. :)

International Women's Day and The Temple Bar Woman - what a coincidence!

It's International Women's Day today! 

It's also exactly a month since my new novel, "The Temple Bar Woman - a tale of danger, deceit and daring," was released in Delhi.

I've more than one reason to celeberate the spirit of womanhood. And pay a tribute to all the wonderful women in my life...including the female characters portrayed in all my books. 

A bit about  my new novel and its formal launch in Delhi-

 The book is a work of fiction and narrates the story of Radha - a simple village school teacher who is kidnapped for a flimsy reason by a powerful politician and his friends, insulted and abused before being sold to an upscale brothel in a city in an unconscious state. This is a story of her escape, rage and revenge and her quest to seek out and punish the man who destroyed her life.

If you take it at face value, the book is a racy read; however, it is an attempt to open the floor for discussion and get people talking about sexual violence and abuse openly. So that the subject becomes a part of living room conversations just like drug or alcohol abuse issues or any other problem afflicting the society. The event was hosted by SheThePeopleTv – The Book Club along with their venue partner, SodaBottleOpenerwala in Khan Market, New Delhi. 

 I also decided to have a couple of panel discussions at the formal book launch event and invited prominent citizens of the city to discuss and share their views.

Dr. Tripti Sharan (a gynaecologist who has handled rape and abuse cases and a writer; Dr. Sanjay Chugh (psychologist); Ms. Richa Mohan (Psychosocial trainer, social worker and researcher in the said area); Shri Harry Dhaliwal; (Jt. Comm. of Police famous for handling the sensational Dhaula Kuan Rape case) were the guests of honour at the launch function. There were two short - panel discussions focusing on different facets of the issue moderated by me:

1)    Are we as a culture in a state of denial as far as sexual abuse is concerned?

2)    Trivialising Gender violence: Social norms and attitudes

The discussions were followed by the book launch by Guests of honour and cake cutting. 

I'm happy that the book is finally out and the intial reviews are encouraging. While promoting my book, my aim is also to have more such conversations around the subject of sexual violence at various platforms. You may find me in your city soon. Will keep you posted. Do drop by if you are around when I visit your city. 

Happy Women's Day! Keep Smiling! :)

Media coverage of the event:

Times of India - https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/books/book-launches/book-release-the-temple-bar-woman-by-sujata-parashar/articleshow/62880852.cms

HindustanTimes(Hindi)-http://mepaper.livehindustan.com/?mainedition=Delhi&edname=Delhi&pgdate1=2018-02-10&edcode=1&strmmode=1&Page=7

Buy the book here: https://www.amazon.in/Temple-Bar-Women-Sujata-parashar/dp/B079JKGBN9

BOOK REVIEW: BORDERLINE by SHABRI PRASAD SINGH

Start Writing. No matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. 

                                                             - Louis L’ Amour (American Novelist)

Shabri Prasad Singh’s debut novel ‘Borderline’ a fictionalised record of her struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, probably happened because she was prompted by the experts treating her to start writing about her complex life as a part of her therapy. A reason, she equally believed, might work and help her from completely destroying her life.

And so, as readers we have this brutally honest and a bold story of Amrita Srivastava who has been to hell and back. Written in first person the story revolves around the the roller - coaster life - experiences of Amrita as a child and an adult.

Amrita and her older sister Sati have had a privileged childhood. They have travelled and lived in Europe (London) surrounded by Indian diplomats for a big part of their childhood. Amrita is the second child of an influential IPS officer R.S Srivastava and his beautiful wife Neelkamal– also from an elite political family (there’s some French connection too).

Amrita was always a problem child with an unreasonable need to seek attention from her parents unlike her elder sister, Sati. However, the early signs of her real problems and emotional instability starts to show when her parents’ file for a divorce. Unlike her elder sister, she’s unable to cope with the trauma of her family breaking up and blames both the parents (and later their respective partners) for a long time.

She’s extremely close to her father and almost worships him. As for his part, he loves her equally and is protective of her. He understands that while his elder daughter can fend for herself; the younger one needs parental guidance and support. And throughout his life he not only indulges her but also tries to keep her out of harm’s way. After her parents’ divorce, both the sisters start living with their father and can only meet their mother during the weekends. This vast change in their domestic situation impacts Amrita greatly and she loses whatever little interest she had in her studies and spends most of her time in bad company or some “happening party.”

“Rather than focusing on studies, my priority was to find ways to give papa the slip.”

 Amrita is heartbroken when she has to leave for the US for her higher studies upon her father’s insistence. She somehow manages to cope with her new environment only when she meets Hafez and falls in love with him. But soon her insecurities comes to haunt her and she starts becoming envious and possessive of her boyfriend. The relationship ends unhappily, leaving her even more emotionally disturbed. Things just start to go downhill from there and one tragedy follows another, the most devastating of them being her father’s sudden demise.

The rest of the story is about how her “mind allows the darker demons that lurk within to possess it” and ruin not only her own life (fuelled by excessive drinking, drugs and multiple bad relationships) but also that of everyone around her until she finally recognises her problem and consciously undertakes the journey to heal herself with professional help.

What makes this book a remarkable read is its excruciating honesty and the boldness with which the story has been told. On a personal note, I would really like to be friends with people like Amrita who are bold, genuine and don’t shy away from accepting their weakness or mistakes.

However, my last thoughts are about something that the book brings out as a side story with a devastating consequence (if revealed). Actually, it mentions a mysterious lady writer who takes advantage of Amrita’s vulnerable state; get her to spill out intimate details of her life and her mental problem and then publishes the entire story in the form of her next novel. The (dubious) woman character is referred to as ‘Ria’ in the book. No surname. Only Ria.

Borrowing from the immortal lines of Ayn Rand’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’ -

 ‘Who is Ria…?’

Maybe we’ll find out soon. My best wishes to the author.

Her Dress, Her Choice!

Recently, I bought myself an off - shoulder top. As soon as I stepped into the house that day, I quickly changed into my new blouse and stood admiring myself in front of our old dressing - table mirror like an excited teenager. How the beautiful garment fitted me and how the colour was just right for my skin tone…rattled on the happy voice inside me.

Being from the army background; I’ve had the privilege of living all over the country, and that, besides several other things, has given me the opportunity to observe and follow fresh and unique fashion and dressing styles of people from different parts. Out of this understanding, emerged my own unique style of wearing attires which I like to believe is an extension of me and my personality and may or may not reflect popular dressing sensibilities. Moreover, I wear what I like. It matters to me that I dress up according to my own taste.

Now that brings me to the point of this article; the raging debate on social media, a few months ago, over what Priyanka Chopra wore when she met Prime Minister Modi in Berlin followed by a similar news on social media trolling the Dangal actress, Fatima Sana Shaikh’s beach wear photos that she’d posted on twitter while holidaying in Maldives during the holy month of Ramadan. Both the news are stale. People have other interesting things to debate and discuss. However, I’ve been meaning to write about my own thoughts on this for a while. Buying the off - shoulder top triggered that thought and so here I am.

I was amused and exasperated by all the hullabaloo around the misdirected topic of discussion when the news first hit social media about Priyanka’s dress followed by that of Fatima. Come on people (naysayers), get a life! Both the women are well – educated and responsible women who’ve reached where they are in life because of their talent, dedication and grace. Both are more than capable of making their own life – choices; least of all when it comes to deciding what to wear or not for a particular occasion.

Take the case of Priyanka, wasn’t it really thoughtful of her to meet PM Modi when she found out that he was also in Berlin? Didn’t the picture of the two we all saw on social media conveyed the warmth, pride and respect of the duo for each other as fellow citizens? We all should have been discussing these and maybe other such interesting issues. But out of everything else, what did we find the petty - minded discussing or reporting? Her dress – and her bare legs!

Poor Fatima wasn’t spared either! She was in Maldives for a holiday and decided to post some great pictures of herself by the beach. What was so wrong about that? What else is one supposed to wear on a beach? Besides, what a woman wants to wear or not is completely her prerogative. For that matter, what she can or cannot do with her own body is her choice. No one else should have a say in it. When will our society accept this basic fact?

Anyway, I think the people with skewed view of femininity need to be educated about the importance of respecting women for being themselves. What really matters to us (as women) is that we are accepted and admired for who we are as individuals rather than being wrongly judged on how we look or what we wear!

Why giving back to society is not what you think it is?

       Marching Forward: At India Gate with the kids of Empowering Minds Education Centre

Years ago, I was watching the renowned Human Rights Activist, Asma Jahangir’s interview on TV. Somehow, the things she revealed that day about her work left me feeling disturbed. I had just started working myself then after completing a two years post-graduation course in Travel and Tourism Management. It was my first job. I was proud of the fact that besides being placed in a prestigious international airline, a decent pay cheque, my job also gave me the opportunity to travel around the world. It was what I relished the most about my profession and made me look forward to a long and fulfilling career in the travel (and tourism) sector.

And yet, that day after listening to the internationally acclaimed lawyer and social activist’s talk, I’d almost felt bad for myself. As if, I had not chosen well and needed to do something more in order to be happy. On the same day, I recall telling my dad that when I retire from active work; I would do something to benefit the underprivileged and the deprived. I don’t know why I said that but it definitely eased my mind and made me feel better.

It took me several more years to finally take a call and after having gained experience in multiple companies; I left my last corporate job at the peak of my career; and instead opted to join the social sector and begin from scratch (after completing my Masters in Human Rights). Now when people ask me what made me leave my cushy corporate job (s) one after the other or what was it exactly that disturbed me that day after watching that interview with a Human Rights Activist, I have the answer.

I was certainly distressed to hear about the sufferings of others but more than that I was disheartened that there was nothing I could do about their situation. It made me feel helpless.

 But I was wrong. All of us have the power to do something about the things we feel bad about! In fact, we’ve the choice of either taking action or just feel bad temporarily and then move on. Much later, I also realised that true happiness lies in seeing others happy. This may sound superfluous to some. But this is an honest response. Today, I work with Empowering Minds, a Delhi based NGO on different projects. In fact I’m one of the founder – members of the NGO. And proud and happy to be working with them.  

                        International Women's Day celebrations at EM Education Centre 

My corporate job (s) could not give me the kind of satisfaction that my inner - most core was seeking. Most of them made me financially secure, gave me the money to buy things I needed for a comfortable life, and even added value to my overall personality but they also made me selfish, irritable, and anxious and mostly left me feeling empty deep inside.

Well, that was my story. However, this article is not about corporate jobs vs. social work. Everyone needs to earn a living and not everyone can shift gears like I did then. But it is equally important to know that things must not be always seen in terms of gains and losses. A simple act of kindness, or reaching out to needy, even volunteering for a cause one deeply relates to can make the person feel happy deep inside. As long as you reach out with a genuine desire to help someone; the satisfaction you get in return is immense. Try it sometime. Here are a few other things that happens when you decide to give back without expecting anything in return-

• ·         Selfless service brings out the best in you. You evolve as a human being.
• ·        You get a chance to pay your debt of gratitude to the higher force/almighty for all the good things and blessings you’ve received.
• ·          In the process of empowering others you learn new skills and enrich yourself.
• ·         The joy in seeing someone else happy increases your own joy manifold. It even makes you feel proud and accomplished.
• ·         You create a sense of purpose in life. It enthuses you with new energy. 

I experienced (& continue to experience) all of the above but the best of it all was I no longer wanted to move from job to job. I’d finally realised what I wanted to do till the very end. Make people happy. And be happy myself.

Keep smiling. And spread the joy!

Counting my blessings while reflecting on the highs and lows of 2016

It just feels better when one is able to sort out and clearly express all those jumbled up thoughts occupying much of the mind. And writing is one of the best forms through which I can untangle my knotty thought - threads. Besides, end of the year everyone tends to get reflective. I'm no different and so here I am.

There's no denying that 2016 offered me a mixed bag. There were sharp ups and equally acute descents in my life - graph during that period. My greatest happiness and accomplishment was that I completed my eight book (and my fourth novel). As a writer, that was one of the toughest feat to achieve as I was pushing my boundaries and writing in a genre I knew nothing about. The book is now with my literary agent and I'm hopeful that it will find a good publishing house.

The biggest challenge, however, was at a personal level. Coming to terms with the formal end of my marriage (which happened towards the end of last year) and accepting and owning the changed status fully. It was more difficult than I'd initially thought it to be. But thankfully, my supportive family, friends and my own positive and healthy state of mind helped me heal and move on. I have moved on but once in a while one tends to pause and look back. At such times one has to be the strongest and accept things as they stand. I'm glad that I have always found the inner strength to hold up well during such moments of weakness.

Besides, there's so much to be really thankful for. For instance, how my son, Vidu continues to receive utmost love and care from both his parents. Also, how my ex - husband, continues to be a part of the family. And most of all how I've been able to cope and carry on with life despite the lows experienced in my personal sphere.


Moving on to other cheerful highlights -


An absolutely marvelous and unexpected gift of year 2016 has been my receiving the Karmaveer Chakra award(instituted by iCongo in association with UN). It's not so much the award but the idea behind it. It is given to people and organisations who work selflessly for the benefit of people and planet.

 I've been working in the social sector for more than a decade now.Before joining the social sector, I had seen the 'highs' of the corporate world. I've worked for an international airline (SAS) to a Business resort (in Singapore), and had even opened my own Start Up - an event management company, (again) in Singapore. But somehow, that life left me feeling empty.  I felt stalled and unfulfilled in all that I did and that is when (after completing my Masters in Human Rights) I decided to switch to the social development field for good. It was a conscious move. No one in the family was in favour of this switch in my professional career. The (financial) returns were not even half of what I used to earn earlier...thus everyone felt it was a huge mistake, one I would regret later. I seldom regretted it.

At times, I do feel bad about the amount of commitment and hard work, I put into the kind of work I do and how very little it is understood or acknowledged by the world - donors, government and people at large but then I chose this myself and I feel content working in this area. I continue to expand my life - state and working for the cause of Education and Mental Health, two main areas I am involved in at Empowering Minds. In fact 2017 is going to be an exciting year and I'll will be exploring newer horizons.


The Karmaveer Chakra awarded to me along with several other path breakers, activists, social workers is a solid endorsement to the work that I am doing. I'm so proud of it.

The New year 2017 has already thrown some challenges at me and I'm so looking forward to starting on a happy note -


Vidu will join school from next year. (2016 was a gap year for him as he was ahead in his class, age wise, and as parents we felt the pressure would be too much for him and thus he studied at home and did plenty of other wonderful things with his extra time).


I am hoping to start something of my own along with my colleagues at EM. We've been working on it and plan to unveil the project early next year.




There's plenty of travel mostly work - related and then

have to go House hunting...

And I also plan to start writing the fourth book in my 'Pursuit' series in 2017.

It's going to be another interesting year full of challenges, joys and things to look forward to.

Let me end with a stanza from my own poem - That Woman You See, which is also the title of my short story collection that was released in 2015. The full poem appears at the end of the book.




That woman you see

is not the woman you know

For the woman you know

has sides you've yet to see.


Happy New Year 2017!

Keep smiling!

Sujata

www.sujataparashar.in

PINK: A BREAKAWAY FILM

PINK COMES WITH BLACK AND WHITE

PINK is a breakaway film. But not because there’s anything new about the subject it deals with. In fact, there have been several noteworthy films made in the past on the issues and challenges faced by women living in a predominantly patriarchal society such as ours. For instance, Meenakshi Sheshadari’s career best performance film, Damini, where a woman stands against a crime she witnesses and despite the odds, bravely confronts the society (including her own family) and wins in the end. Of course, in her fight for justice she’s amply supported by an upright lawyer (one of the several striking similarities between Damini and  PINK).

Another such movie was Kya Kehna, which highlighted the issue of pre - marital pregnancy and how a young teenager refuses to abort her child despite being shunned by the society; defying stereotypical mind-sets, and with the support of her family (which too had initially turned against her) and a childhood friend decides to raise the child herself while at the same time complete her education which she'd to leave mid - way due to her pregnancy and its repercussions on her life. Again, Preity Zinta’s performance in the movie was outstanding and earned her several awards.

 And yet, PINK has not only dared to break the glass ceiling but has also made us, the viewers, to sit up and take note; and even cry out loud in angst as the shards hit us in the eye and other parts of the body injuring us and leaving us feeling uneasy.

Apart from the brilliant acting of almost everyone in the film, the taught narration, the suspense, and the acute depiction of the collective trauma of the three women friends that many of us can relate to; the movie raises certain pertinent questions (which have also been pointedly raised in all the previous female – centric movies). Some of them being, 

Why do we have a different set of rules for men and women?

Why do we judge the character of a woman based on the kind of clothes she wears, the places she visits, the way she smiles, talks or behaves et al?

And finally, what happens to a woman when she says enough is enough and decides to fight back?

However, PINK successfully manages to hold our attention with its fresh take on the aged discussion on women’s rights and the factors limiting them. But what really makes it radically different than those other films, is the way it nudges us away from the main problem or issue being highlighted in the film without digressing and yet compels us to take note of the seemingly inconsequential matters presented in the film and give them a serious thought.

Let me give you a few instances from the film without (hopefully) giving away the whole story:

1.    After the altercation between Rajveer; the nephew of a powerful politician, and Minal; a girl he meets at a rock concert, leaves him seriously injured, he is rushed to a hospital by two of his male friends. Later, the entire incident is narrated to Ankit (the misogynist friend, of Rajveer) by the two friends who were also present at the resort, when the incident took place. Ankit’s strong reaction to the whole affair even though he had no role to play in it, leaves us flummoxed.

Ankit not only compels Rajveer to teach the girls a lesson but also gets involved himself to avenge the insult.  This feudal mind-set is so prevalent in the mentality of the Indian male that after a while we don’t find it odd, when the former willingly becomes a part of it all to cause further damage to the girls.

2.    Deepak Sehgal (Amitabh Bachchan), a retired lawyer, visits the traumatised friends of Minal (who has been wrongly accused and put behind bars), asks them for the original copy of the FIR they had lodged with the police, reads it out loud, clarifies the legal points before finally letting the anxious girls know that Minal’s bail application date has been intentionally moved to Friday to prevent her release from the jail for at least a couple of days.  

But before he leaves, he enlightens them that unlike in other cases, women and minors can be granted a bail even on a Friday.  This little nugget of information that he shares so offhandedly with the girls makes one realise how important it is for a woman to be aware of  her basic legal rights. It might not only save her from being tormented by the authorities but also help in taking the right course of action.

3.    Then there’s a point, during the court trial, when Rajveer is called by the prosecuter to take the stand for questioning. Deepak Sehgal, who has been keenly observing Rajveer all this while, raises an objection and draws everyone’s attention (using sarcasm and humour effectively) to the fact that the former’s hand is inside the pocket of his trousers while he’s on the witness stand in a courtroom. With this simple statement, the witty lawyer again manages to draw everyone’s attention to the complainant’s real character and his unmerited and inappropriate sense of entitlement.

I can give several other such small yet powerful instances from the film to show how beautifully the story weaves these often ignored or neglected aspects of our personal values, beliefs and social attitudes into the main narrative to drive home the point that as individuals, parents and as a society we have to break away from the decaying patriarchal culture and make  great many self - corrections in the way we see things; in the way we act and behave towards others (especially women); and most importantly, in the way we raise our children.

To begin with, let’s teach our boys to respect a girl's wishes and boundaries from a young age. Let's make it a point to share these powerful lines from Deepak Sehgal's closing argument with them, 

‘When a woman says NO, it means you stop.’

Back with a Cycle!

Hey everyone! In my previous post I gave you all my word to come back sooner and I'm a woman of my word. Literally. If you haven't read it yet, it's titled - "Hello Tu Kaun Jahan Se Aayee." (Just making sure you hit the right one) By the way, you haven't missed out much. Read it if you like to listen to sweet nothings of a lost - in - her - own - world #writer who likes to drift more often than not especially on this space. That was the whole idea of creating it in the first place, anyway.

 However, this time I have a definite purpose.

I want to share this beautiful and unique experience I completely savoured kind courtesy #KLM Royal Dutch Airlines and their bright idea to treat 7 lucky women on the occasion of Women's Day with a cycle ride of the city! They deserve a huge round of applause for such an innovative approach to celebrate Womanhood!

                                                          The Invitation from KLM

 KLM did it in association with #DelhiByCycle. And guess what? The company is owned by a Dutch journalist who decided to explore the city by cycle himself first and then hit on this lovely idea of sharing the experience with interested people; travellers, tourists, researchers, heavy weights,  curious women and the likes by starting his own company. Rest is History of Delhi. To be discovered on a Cycle!  

Anyway, what is great is that I got an opportunity too to go biking with six (actually seven others, if you count our Hindi - speaking, Chola Bhatura - relishing, Italian guide Elena. And we had a co - guide too.  A very helpful one at that - Kapil) fun loving, daring and positive minded ladies from diverse fields. Let's see, we had an entrepreneur, a teacher, an Infrastructure consultant, a couple of travel professionals, An HR lady and me of course - the writer.

R to L - Sushmita, Me, Gayatri, Chandni, Kashish, Kanchan - (from KLM), Nidhi and Elena behind Nidhi

You think there's no dare involved in cycling? Then consider this.

It's a Saturday morning

You live in places like Greater Noida, Gurgaon, East Delhi et al (actually my and Kanchan's resi was the closest I think, rest all came from far off places)

Have been working late night...some as late as 12:30 p.m.

Still you wake up at 5:00 a.m. so that you can reach the venue on time i.e. 6:15 a.m.

by hook or by crook. meaning you hail a cab and trust it will arrive on the given pick - up time ( two of the ladies reported their cab companies ditched them), or drive yourself, or coax your dear husband to drop you from one end to the other in the wee hours of the morning.

          At Connaught Place Inner Circle with the Tricolour flying high in the Background

And then from just a dare or a self - challenge it turned into an experience that would be imprinted in our minds for a long time.

 Our very sweet but very firm Instructor, Elena informed us that we will have to cycle approx. about 16 Kms. and time management was crucial to avoid heavy traffic. It's perpetually a rush hour after 7:00 a.m. in Delhi anyway. And our ride involved crossing narrowest lanes of Paharganj, Ajmeri Gate  a glimpse of G.B Road before moving towards Connaught Place Inner circle, an uphill ride towards Rashtrapati Bhawan (which was a task) continuing towards Agrasen ki Baoli and then stopping for much needed Breakfast! at the popular Bengali Sweets in Bengali Market and then back to Asaf Ali Road, another uphill ride via an overhead bridge (can't recollect the name) this time with our tummies full. What a ride it was!

                        After our refreshing Chai Break - somewhere behind Imperial hotel

Through it all not only did we look at our city through new eyes and admired its resilience, beauty and gumption to move on despite facing many odds but I also realised how warm and kind people are generally: There were at least three instances when I was filled with gratitude towards those strangers who voluntarily went out of their way to see we ladies crossed the roads and by lanes safely . One man at one of the red lights near Paharganj, tried stopping a bus coming from the other direction in order to let us pass, another halted a rickshaw waala in a narrow lane almost rebuked for not stopping and giving way when he saw us - ladies trying to make our way through that very narrow lane. Even the cops near Raisina Hill guided us to a safe spot from where we could smoothly take a right turn on the very busy road. Delhi filled me with pride that day. And I can't thank KLM enough for showing me this beautiful side of my beautiful city which I always believed, existed. The only thing I did not enjoy so much was the filth and unhygienic conditions people are living in still (esp in Old Delhi area) and despite the call for Swatch Bharat by our PM...we have a long way to go before we achieve this goal.  

I could go on writing but I think I better stop here...other things to take care of...plus I think you will only know and believe the above to be true if you go cycling around town yourself. and I will say, Go for it! It's worth it. And you do deserve it too. To see a different side of Delhi in order to appreciate it and connect with it.

As for us lucky seven...we gelled really well despite our diverse backgrounds and have decided to stay in touch ( we have already formed a whatsapp group and call it the KLM Cycling group) and go cycling together around Lodhi or some other location that we'll jointly choose, once in a while! All thanks to KLM and DelhiByCycle. :)

                                       

                        At Agrasen Ki Baoli with clear images of Elena and Kapil (DelhiByCycle)

Cheers!

#KLM #Cycling #DelhiByCycle #WritersDay  #Sightseeing #WomensDay2016

Hello Tu kaun jahan se aayee

A big smile on my face, today. It turns a bit apologetic as I write this post. No, I'm not apologising this time for being absent here for so long. I'm apologising for not writing. I mean, writing just for the sake of writing. And nothing else. No particular purpose or aim. For myself. I've done it in the past. More often than not. This blog is a witness to that. But I tend to get lost. That isn't new to me either. I'm a drifter. But once in a while I drift back to the source. This is one such moment, I guess when I'm not writing to meet deadlines or to communicate with the world about this and that. This one, like few of my earlier blog posts; is without rhyme or reason.

The world has changed since I last wrote. Which was I don't know when. Probably last year sometime. Just checked. Last published post was July 2015. Whoa! Indeed a long time ago. Bloggers don't do that. But then, I'm not your usual blogger. As I've said so many times, already. My gratitude to all 24 of you who are here with me (following my blog). I mean what's there to even stop by here. Just a few ramblings...perhaps. Or perhaps you just forgot to delete me from your list. Anyway, makes me glad to see you all here !I like company. Even when I'm alone.

The early morning sounds of rustling trees and chirping birds mixed with distant chatter of people going about their business makes me feel at ease; I focus on my work better. It makes me feel life is happening. Pin drop silence isn't for me. At times,  I add to all that background noise by playing my favourite songs on my Ipod or Youtube.

Umm, by the way, do excuse my for this little bit of bragging; my seventh book came out last December. Isn't that absolutely delightful! Well, it is to me.  :) The book's a collection of short stories, titled, THAT WOMAN YOU SEE. The 9 stories in the book have been inspired by the new - age Indian woman who speaks her mind and can go to any length to express herself even at the cost of appearing odd, rebellious or unconventional. Sounds familiar? It's available on Flipkart and Amazon. Also as an e - book. #JustSaying. Who knows? Today maybe my lucky day and you, er, many  of you may be into short stories. No harm done. Isn't it!? You see, hope never dies. Every writer, when they market their own books are hopeful, in fact quite optimistic, that someone out there will love what they've written. I'm no different. :)

Okay, enough of book talk. Now let's drift to other things. Actually, this post is getting longer and I'm suddenly reminded of ten thousand things I need to attend to. Also, I recall having promised you all to keep my posts short. So probably, more later. Yes, this time I'll come back sooner. No promises but I give you my word. Anyway, does it even matter? You have so many things vying for your attention...and who reads a vague blog post such as this one.  And yet I hope you do. :) On that hopeful note I say - Laters baby! Reminds you of something naughty? No. Well then you've not read E.L James. ;D

Keep smiling!

S

That don’t impress me much!

Well, to begin with, I love Shania Twain! Not only because she’s a fabulous singer but also because of the lyrics of one of her songs which I absolutely adore and can so relate to. (Actually, the song title is the title of my post - as some of you might have noticed).

Recently, I heard the song again which triggered my thoughts for this post.  The lyrics of the song may’ve been written by someone else but since I don’t know that ‘someone,’ and also because she’s sung it so beautifully, the credit for the lyrics goes to Shania.

It’s one of my favourites from her collection. Just read these lines -

“So you got the brain but have you got the touch
don’t get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright…that don’t impress me much”

My sentiments exactly!

Although, she’s only addressing it to the men in the song. In my case, however, I silently voice it to all the attention seeking, self – absorbed, arrogant, egotistical, rude and insensitive people that I sometimes knowingly and at others unknowingly get to meet.

Now this post is not to hit - at those people that I’ve had the displeasure of meeting or knowing in my life’s journey so far. Not at all.  It’s actually something that I’ve been wondering about for a long time. Why do people behave so unlike themselves? What is it that prompt an increasing number of people these days to go against the basic traits of human nature: simplicity, humility and kindness? Is it because the world is becoming more and more superficial? Is it their own insecurity or bruised ego? Is it that they feel inadequate in some ways or is it because they never got the love and attention they deserved from their near and dear ones? I’m still trying to figure it out.

I’m a member of a lay Buddhist organisation called Sokka Gakai International (SGI) which upholds the values, thoughts, teachings and traditions of Shakyamuni Buddha. (The India chapter of the international organisation is called Bharat Sokka Gakai - BSG). Among the many simple yet impactful teachings discussed and shared in this beautiful practice, the one that I remind myself time and again, whenever I get swayed by such emotions or baser instincts– of course I get influenced too-- are the simple lines – “It is the heart that is important.”

Isn’t it a beautiful thought? And isn’t it true?

At times we forget that we’re all but mere mortals. It does not matter whether we are rich or poor, wise or a fool, beautiful or ugly; sooner or later death will claim us. We are not going to live forever. It is thus important that we lead meaningful, happy and fulfilling lives. However, selfishness, narcissism, arrogance and such negative qualities does not lead one towards happiness we all seek. On the other hand such qualities disconnect one from other fellow beings. It creates an environment of mistrust, insecurity, resentfulness and jealousy. Other people may be nice to such men and women out of fear or awe but they will never open their hearts or connect with them at a deeper level.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong in realizing one’s self worth and feeling proud about it. But it is equally important to be humble and respectful towards others. To appreciate others, be happy in their happiness, and genuinely reach out to them in their difficult times. It is also important to accept one’s own good fortune with grace and humility. While you ponder on my post let me roll out another line from the same song -

You think you're cool but have you got the touch/

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright… /

… but that don’t impress me much!

 

And just in case, here’s the Youtube link of the song -

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWjVQlSruY8

 

Words of a Storyteller

Words. The term that comes to mind as I write down my random thoughts today. Words flow. In fact, I’m surrounded by them at all times. Even in silence I hear and see them. And at times I even taste them. Don't believe me? Well let me show you with an example-

The spicy chicken stew smelt good. It was piping hot. Just the dish to warm up a frozen heart on a cold wintry evening. I knew what all had gone into it: Boiled potatoes, fresh boneless chicken chunks, a couple of carrots, some  celery sticks,broccoli flowers, baby mushrooms and paprika in milk and cream- based broth. I could even smell the spices used for seasoning and accentuating its flavour: cinnamon sticks, black pepper, chopped spring onions, garlic and ginger; sautéed in butter. And finally garnished with green dill and finely chopped fresh red chillies. It looked delectable. I was famished. I brought out my favourite Japanese wooden soup bowls and poured myself and my friend some with the wooden ladle.  Mmm... it sure tasted heavenly!

See what I mean? Of course, I've written or described the preparation of the dish in the simplest of manners. If I were to work on it a little more, many of you - foodies out there would head towards your kitchen. No?

Like the above, for everything I feel, think or see; my words convey it to me before I further proclaim it to the world.   At times, I've to struggle to deliver them exactly as they come to me. But I guess that's how it is with all of us! Sometimes we cannot say and at others we don't want to. The world may not accept these honest and simple - minded nude fellas as our hearts do. So we- humans have learned to dress them up. Give a superficial face - liftto most things that we want to speak about.  .


Anyway, for me when things are tough, some of these well - meaning companions heal me. They whisper in their simple language to not give up. They cajole and nudge me to keep walking. Make me forget the falls. Teach me new meanings. Over the years I’ve collected quite a few of them. They are a part of my treasury. My diamonds.  I show them off once in a while in my writings. At an appropriate instance. My constant engagement with them makes me what I am: An impressionist. Also an expressionist. But most of all they help me tell stories. Good ones – I believe.

Travel and Writing in 2015

Year 2015 has begun on a satisfactory and hopeful note. Many changes are expected this year. At the personal as well as professional front. The first half of the year involves a good deal of traveling. In fact, the travel schedule till March is already drawn out. It’s a mix of – literary pursuits, travel related to various social projects that I’m involved in and some personal trips. I'm not planning to bring out a book this year except probably the short - stories collection that I have been working on. If everything falls in place it should be released somewhere towards the end of the year. The book is another ambitious and heartfelt endeavour to tell stories about Indian women. In fact, it is an attempt to bring out different shades of the modern Indian woman in the form of 12 simple and yet engaging stories. The interesting part of the book is that the title of each story is also the name of the lead female protagonists of those stories The names also reflect the essence of the character of the heroines of each of these stories.  I better stop here before I reveal all about the book out of too much enthusiasm.                 

A good part of the year will be spent in writing/completing the other  writing projects. There’s the unfinished novel – long overdue; based on a woman who is brutally gang – raped and suffers further humiliation and loss at the hands of her tormentors before she decides to fight back and avenge her honour. Then there’s the non – fiction that is stuck for no good reason. I would like to get it out this year too. Fingers crossed! Other than that, I plan to continue contributing to some prestigious anthologies of both poetry and short - fiction.  I believe it’s a good way to experiment with writing genres and styles as well as stay – in – touch with the literary world. Of course, the focus will as much be on reading, which was much neglected in 2014, and attending a few relevant events/programmes that will help me enhance my creative  - writing abilities.

That's all from me for now!

Wish each one of you a very warm and fulfilling 2015!

Keep smiling!